Tag Archives: family

Becoming a Father

Two Months in California

My wife and I have been in California for two months. It has been fun, and we have had a lot of free time. We had a baby shower that many of my friends attended. I was ambivalent about organizing the event, but I wanted my wife to have a baby shower because we didn’t have one in Mexico with her family.

Baby Shower

Finding a Doctor

Finding a good doctor was a challenge. The first doctor we visited in Sacramento was one I had arranged through contacts in Costa Rica, so I wasn’t able to do much research beforehand.

When we arrived at the doctor’s office, I immediately noticed that the waiting room was a little dirty and disorganized. There were a lot of people waiting, and many appeared to be uninsured. There were also many non-English speakers and several Muslim immigrants. Growing up in Sacramento, I don’t remember seeing very many Muslims, but there seem to be many more now. It made me wonder how much the city has changed and how did it occur this way?

So, back to the doctor’s office. We waited about an hour to see the doctor, and the customer service was subpar. We felt rushed, as if the office placed a high priority on seeing as many patients as possible. On top of that, I had to pay out of pocket. I decided that that was the last time we saw that doctor.

After that, we had difficulty finding a prenatal-care doctor because many doctors were unwilling to accept a new patient who was already more than 30 weeks pregnant. We kept getting turned away. So I called one of the offices back and asked, “There’s got to be a way to see a doctor. What would Bill Gates do? Could he find a doctor? I said this because I knew we had a stellar insurance plan. The receptionist said she would ask around. She called back. Finally, though, we found a good doctor about 45 minutes away in the town of Davis.

Rancho Cordova, Sportsman Ct.

Being Away from Work

Being away from work has been both good and bad. I miss the routine and the challenges of work. Every day, I wake up early with a clear assignment and a sense of purpose. When I arrive home, however, I feel relieved and happy to be home and with my wife.

Being away from work has given me a chance to slow down and spend more time with family. At the same time, I have realized how much I enjoy having a routine and responsibilities outside the home.

A Day on the Rivers

My old high school friend, Marques, invited us out on his boat to cruise the Sacramento and American Rivers. We departed from a restaurant on the river called Crawdads. From there, we entered the American River and headed upstream.

The Sacramento and American Rivers come together near downtown Sacramento. It was the first time I had actually seen the two rivers meet. What a treat!

Growing Up Along the American River

Speaking of rivers. I grew up next to the American River. Every summer, my friends and I would spend a lot of time down there, swimming and snorkeling while looking for whatever people had dropped. Of course having a few beers, getting tan and enduring 100+ degree afternoons.

And we found all kinds of things: sunglasses, unopened beers, lawn furniture, money, keys, and wallets. Once I found 107 dollars, with which I bought a wetsuit. Looking back, it was a pretty great way to spend a summer.

Family at the American River, Rossmoor Bar.

The Birth of Our Daughter

After 41 weeks of pregnancy, my wife still hadn’t given birth, so we started thinking about a cesarean section.

Then the baby was born!

Good Lord, that was tough. My wife was in a lot of pain. It was like something out of a movie. She was going through hell, and I was at her side, helping as much as I could. They poked and prodded her and even gave her an epidural, which had mixed results. I felt so bad for her. She was in so much pain and I watched helpless to lower that pain. 

When the baby was finally born, she came out quickly, and they immediately placed her on my wife’s chest. I just sat back in the chair, almost crying, but the tears didn’t come out. I was exhausted. I never imagined it was going to be so intense. Also, I was so happy that my wife was out of pain. 

We stayed one night in the hospital, many nurses coming and going in the room to take tests of Mom and of baby. Kinda annoying but needed.

Having a newborn daughter has been mind-blowing. There is so much love growing between the baby and us, and that is something I didn’t anticipate. I knew I would love my daughter, of course, but experiencing that love firsthand has been completely different from anything I imagined.

Saying Goodbye from California

A coworker and friend of ours is departing the U.S. Embassy in Costa Rica to work at the U.S. Consulate in Guadalajara, Mexico. Since we won’t be able to attend his going-away party, Mayte, our newborn daughter, and I recorded a goodbye video for him.

We filmed the video in the backyard of my dad’s house—the same house where I grew up. It seemed like an appropriate place to record it, especially now that my own family is beginning a new chapter.

Conclusion

These two months in California have been a mixture of family, old friends, new experiences, and, most importantly, the birth of our daughter.

I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with the place where I grew up and see parts of Sacramento from a different perspective. At the same time, becoming a father has completely changed the experience. The long days, doctor’s appointments, uncertainty, and difficult moments were like a scene from a movie that I always wanted to star in.

I’m looking forward to returning to work, getting back into a routine and embracing the Costa Rican world. I’ll arrive with a new daughter, a new perspective, and memories that had to be earned.

Work, Family, and Reflections from San José

New beginnings

San Jose, Costa Rica. Sunset.

My wife is 6 months pregnant. I was beginning to think that this day would never come, but I kept trying, and now I’m here. We are here. I was patient when it came to finding a wife, and she is wonderful. And strikingly gorgeous. We will stay with my dad for 3 months for the birth. I get paternity leave, and doing so will allow us to complete a lot of paperwork.

At The salt mines


Work has been difficult but enjoyable. I’ve been working 10-hour days and actually liking it. It’s in the consular section, so there are always many visas to adjudicate. Every day we receive about 1,000 visa applications, and this is just one embassy in the small country of Costa Rica. It’s like this in every embassy and/or consulate in the world. Everybody is trying to come to the USA, either to immigrate, study, work temporarily, or visit as tourists. And if they are applying for a student, work, or tourist visa, they may actually be trying to immigrate permanently, but they just won’t tell you that at the window. There’s at least a one-year waiting period. We end up denying many visas — at least about 30%. But many people still immigrate illegally.


My wife and I were out in downtown San José. She got her nails done while I walked around people-watching and exploring the shops. When she was done, we met up, and I said, “Let’s go to this supermarket to pay our internet bill.” (the internet option wasn’t working) We were waiting in a long line — just one line for two cashiers — when the girl behind us cut in front of us. She walked up to the counter before I could do anything. So I walked up to her and said, “Go ahead. You can go in front of us, even though we were in front of you.” She replied, explaining why she did it, but I just stared at her and went back to the line. The people behind us supported us and verbally agreed that the woman was wrong.


After we paid and walked out, I still felt bad. Like I was somehow in the wrong, even though I wasn’t. That’s normally why I don’t speak up. I always feel guilty when I point out other people’s bad behavior. Even when I’m in the right. Odd.

Peace Corps Reunion

Unfortunately I was unable to attend my Peace Corps Reunion that happened in New Orleans. There were about 30 of us volunteers that served together in Madagascar and I believe about 15 of us turned out for the reunion. With my wife being pregnant, 7 months pregnant, it just wasn’t the right time to travel. While I was in Madagascar I did lots of filming and made a YT channel. Here’s a link to my Madagascar Youtube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@alakamisyambohimahamadagas3515

Surgery


I just had surgery on my left knee, which I injured while running in Santos, Brazil, in 2021. I used to run a lot. No matter where I was, I would always find time and a place to run. I loved sprinting up hills repeatedly. I also did box jumps, but eventually all of that caused my meniscus to tear. When it happened, I was running on the sidewalk adjacent to the beach. Even though it hurt, I finished my run. When I tried to walk up the stairs afterward, I realized this wasn’t just a sprain. But back then, I didn’t have the money and couldn’t afford to miss work, so I just lived with it. Now I have health insurance, so I finally pulled the trigger. So far, it feels good.

Instagram of a Miami Beach bar


Down below is a link to an Instagram page I created featuring The Sandbar Lounge Lounge. I worked there from 2014 to 2016. And I was a patron for years before that. It was one of the few neighborhood bars of the northern part of Miami Beach. It was the spot for many locals and people who worked in the industry. While there, I took many photos and posted them to our Facebook page, but the bar closed, and so did the Facebook page. I don’t want the memory of that bar and the community that revolved around it to be forgotten, so I created the page.


It’s funny. I was watching some videos on YouTube and stumbled upon one about a former U.S. ambassador to Bolivia who was also a Cuban spy. He had agreed to become a spy years before joining the State Department, and at the request of the Cuban government, he joined the State Department and served for more than 30 years. He even became the U.S. ambassador to Bolivia, all while working for Cuba to undermine the United States. He was caught in 2024 and sentenced to only 15 years in prison, though he will likely serve less. Meanwhile, other less impactful spies received life imprisonment. I can’t believe I never saw this on the news or heard about it through my job. I only know about it because I accidentally found it on YouTube.

@ El Rey


Conclusion:

Somehow all of these moments — work, pain, conflict, memories, and new beginnings — now feel tied together into one strange chapter of life.

A year in Costa Rica

Been in Cost Rica a year and yeah.

Trip with Wife to her Country

I had just returned from a weekend in Mexico, where we visited a small mountain town a few hours east of Mexico City. My wife, Mayte, and I were there to attend the baptism of the son of one of her friends—and we weren’t just guests, we were the godparents.

The trip quickly turned into an adventure. We landed in Mexico City at 1 a.m., and the baptism was scheduled for about ten hours later. The problem? The church was at least seven hours away by bus. Because it took so long for our plane to taxi to the gate, we missed the last bus out of the city.

At around 3 a.m., we found ourselves standing on a dimly lit street outside the bus station, exhausted and trying to figure out what to do. We called Uber a few times, but each driver demanded more money than the last. Walking away wasn’t an option—we were the godparents, and we had the baby’s official baptism clothes with us.

Eventually, after some serious haggling, we struck a deal with a guy who had an old, beat-up car. For about $300, he agreed to drive us to a town near our destination. Somewhere along the way, I fell asleep in the back seat, only to wake up suddenly as our driver narrowly avoided a semi-truck that merged into our lane.

Against all odds, we arrived just in time for the baptism—exhausted, sleepless, and shaken, but there. It was chaotic, stressful, and unforgettable, and in the end, absolutely worth it.

After the Baptism was a hum-dinger of a party. The parents of the child rented out an event space in the country-side. Lots of food, cake, and two live bands, pinadas and more. I was flabbergasted how much they spent on the party. I stuffed myself and had a bunch of beers. The party had started quite early and lasted into the night so Mayte and I went back to the home we were staying at, took a nap, and then went back to the party. Just absolutely awesome night that we’ll never forget. 

I was the only American there. Someone during the wedding approached and talked about the 12yrs that he had lived in Dallas, but without papers, so he returned. He said, “When I saw you, I knew you weren’t Mexican.” Everyone there was metizo or Native American. This was a world different than my own but I felt very at home. Nobody treated me different. I wasn’t noteworthy or drew any attention. 

Big News

I’ve been married for almost 4 months now and on the 1 month anniversary of our wedding we found out that my wife is pregnant. I thought this day would never arrive. I always wanted to have children and consistently tried to foster/ build a relationship with a woman, but nothing ever worked out, partly my fault, I’ll admit. I’m so happy, we’re so happy. It’s a wonderful new chapter in our lives. 

Bad Bunny rolled into San Jose for two shows. Here’s few shots I took from my balcony. 

Baby born where?

Hopefully we can have the baby in the USA, in Sacramento, where I grew up. Plus, it would be a great time to spend with my Dad. As of right now this doesn’t look likely because my wife would need residency in order to legally have a baby in the US. We’re going through the paperwork for residency for her but it would include a medical exam that entails a full body x-ray that is not recommended for someone who is pregnant, which leaves us with the option of getting a tourist visa for her, but under the regulations of a tourist visa, one is not allowed to travel to the US with the purpose of giving birth, so it looks like we have the two remaining options: give birth here in Costa Rica or in Mexico.

New Year in Mexico

We went for New Year’s to Mayte’s small town in Mexico. Ayahualulco sits at about 8,000 feet above sea level. Yes, it was chilly, about 45 degrees. Her family were wonderful and the celebrations included fireworks, food, and some religious ceremonies. Plus, the was plenty of beer and some liquor. Some of her family I met for the first time and we bonded.

Un Temblor

On the way back, my wife and I were in Mexico City waking up in a hotel room in the center of the city a few blocks from The Zocolo, when all of a sudden an odd alarm goes off on both our telephones, like the Amber alert. It was bizarre and annoyed us. She looks at her phone. “It’s an alert for an earthquake.” But not earthquake, must be a drill. Then about 30 seconds later the whole building is shaking. Swaying. Very scary but I’ve been through this before and the buildings never collapse. It stops. Then we hear a commotion out in the hallway. I crack open the door and see the hotel’s guests hurriedly going down the stairs or waiting for the elevator. My wife and I don’t even think twice and get back in bed. A little later I look out the window and see lot’s of people out in the street. Some are barefoot and some looking like they just woke up. I’m glad me and the wife are on the same page for this type of situation. We don’t get riled up and lose our shit while most others do. 

Milton Friedman

I’ve always been an admirer of Milton Freidman. Here’s something that he said that I agree with.

There are four ways to spend money, ordered from the most careful to the most careless.

First: spending your own money on yourself. In this case, you tend to be very careful: you control what you spend it on and try to get the maximum value for every unit of money you spend. Example: buying food for yourself.

Second: spending your own money on others. For example, when you buy a gift or invite someone out to dinner. Although you try not to spend too much, you no longer pay as much attention to whether the other person is getting the greatest possible benefit. You don’t choose gifts with the same level of scrutiny that you apply to purchases for yourself. Example: buying a birthday present for someone.

Third: spending other people’s money on yourself. This happens, for example, when you use an expense account or manage someone else’s funds. In this case, you do try to get something good for yourself — eating well, choosing the best option — but you don’t worry much about finding the cheapest alternative. You tend to be less careful because the money is not coming out of your own pocket.
This also applies when spending other people’s money, such as government spending — that is, taxpayers’ money managed by the state. Example: using the company’s credit card for you own meal.

And finally, the fourth: spending other people’s money on other people. This is what happens when you act as an administrator of public or social funds. Even though you usually want to do a good job, you no longer have strong incentives to be especially careful: it’s not your money, and you’re not the one directly receiving the benefit. As a result, you pay less attention to both cost and value. Example: the government using taxpayer funds for social programs, like benefits for the homeless or foreign aid.

These, then, are the four ways of spending money, from the most prudent to the least careful.

This is an example why government is ineficient and needs to be as small as possible.

And to end this post, here’s a video I did with the drone about a small fishing town, Tárcoles, on the Pacific coast, about an hour and a half from San Jose: