The Sylvester Bar 

We just had a record night at my job, The Sylvester Bar. It was so packed. We were so in the weeds. BTW, “In the weeds” means you’re overtasked and just fighting to keep your head above water. We were moving fast to keep up with the customers who were drinking….good clientele. They’re good looking people and with money, ‘cause our drinks ain’t cheap.

https://www.instagram.com/thesylvesterbar/

Marijuana

Every so often I smell marijuana smoke while working. Once I found the guy smoking. He was playing pool I walked over to him and told him that he had to put it out. He did calmly. Later I smelled it again, so I did the same thing again. He protested this time about to tell me something. Suddenly, my manager told me that everything is fine that he told him that he could smoke inside. Ok cool. That’s what I want to hear!

The All Important Video

I’m editing a video I shot at my squadron reunion. The reunion was truly amazing. I hadn’t seen my military buddies, or been on that base, March ARB, or any military base for that matter, since I left the military 16 years ago. A bunch of people were at the ceremony, we greeted each other very animated and happy. At times it was awkward. Then we went to the reception located outside the base on the grounds of a military museum. More people showed up. I tried to fly my drone. It wouldn’t take off because we were near an airport. So I decided to hold it in my hand and record. The gimbal still worked and stabilized the shot, so I was able to record no problem. I teamed up with a pilot I use to fly with, Joey Hoffman. He ran audio on an iphone. We walked around interviewing peeps on the fly. Sometimes we ran into old friends who weren’t at the ceremony before nor had I seen them for 16 years. But I was acting as director then, so instead of warmly greeting them, I had to be curt and business like. It was odd behavior for them to see after not seeing each other for all that time, we would have normally hugged each other happily, and my friends weren’t prepared for it. I didn’t realize this until I began editing the video and saw their reactions. I’ll post the video below.

Status Update on Film Making

Still ain’t filming enough. Not doing my Vlog like I wanted to and I thought I would continue. I’ve started writing a script for a Joker ran company web series, but I haven’t moved forward with it. I just don’t feel it’s good enough.

Stazio’s Film

Acted in the last part of Stazio’s film, “Julie” We filmed at a posh house in Hollywood. It was empty cause the owner is trying to sell it. Our female lead is an attractive young woman and her role this day required that she was completely naked for the whole shoot. She did well. And we were all professional. I did well, too. I had to masturbate on camera. Which wasn’t easy. At first I faked it, then I realized that I wasn’t selling it, so I did it for real ‘cause it had to be done. We work for the final product. That’s it, really.

Steve’s Pizza

After filming we went to Steve’s Pizza. A classic establishment. It’s a classic standard on Biscayne Blvd. Vice Media did a documentary on Biscayne Blvd and they filmed an interview at Steve’s Pizza with a legend from that neighborhood, Mickey Monday. He was an Evil Genuis drug smuggler rogue now retired, from the late 70’s early 80’s featured on Cocaine Cowboys.

My Friend Giovanni

Gio, my roommate and collaborative filmmaker friend just bought Wolfpak Images t-shirts. He’s taking the business to the next level. Mine fits fine. He keeps including me in his film projects and I’m so grateful. He doesn’t have to. And I’ve made some mistakes filming and he keeps believing in me. It makes me want to help him even more. I must admit that I’ve been thinking of leaving Miami to go abroad again. To teach English in Costa Rica or chasing my dream of living in Spain. But now I’m thinking of staying and it all has to do with Gio, a great friend and a hard-charger mover and a shaker. I admire is gumption and ambition and I want to help him reach his dreams.

A New Love

My boxing class has been going smashing. I love what I’m learning. It’s like liberating or something. It’s an art that deals with body movement and momentum and leverage. And fists. I want to take Jui jutsu next. The gym, KO Zone, is a few blocks from my apartment here in Little Haiti. The people who attend the gym all seem cool. The ones who do martial arts on the 2nd floor are possibly more cool and intriguing. I’m just getting to know them. I’ll have a better opinion on them later. The rest of the time that I’m here in the US, I want to continue studying martial arts. It could get you out of a jam real quick.

Me As an Artist

I admit that I have been drinking almost everyday. Not a lot of alcohol in a day….about 3 tall boys and a few puffs of marijuana. And then I write or edit. It’s been hard to edit even though I want to edit more often. I want to keep producing frequently, because when I do it warms my soul. It makes a difference in my life. And maybe in the lives of people who watch my films now and in the future.

Losing my Spanish?

I watched both “Abre Los Ojos” and “Vanilla Sky” Vanilla Sky is a remake of the Spanish film, Abre Los Ojos. I like them both but they are quite different. Later I arranged to meet with my friend, Patty, to discuss these films while we speak Spanish. It’s my new strategy to continue speaking Spanish. Originally, I thought Abre Los Ojos was better. It’s the original, after all. But I’ve watched them both and I’ve discovered that Vanilla Sky has a lot more layers, there’s more story lines. Vanilla Sky went further by introducing new plots that don’t change the heart of the story of the original version. And they gave you flashbacks and rapid fire images to tell a much more complex backstory and at the same time booster its cinemagraphical quality. Hats off to the original, it’s the seed, and is a must see.

Bustin’ My Balls.

I just worked a twelve hour shift, which is par for the course where I work.It’s like sweat shop work conditions, bitch. I work 12 hours, no breaks, no sitting down and I sneak something to eat in between tasks. I stay because the bar is close to where I live. I can ride my bike there and I don’t have a car. And it pays the bills. Barely. Thankfully, everyone is cool to work with and the bar provides a good environment to work in….just wish I made more money.

Girls!

I did something that I always promised myself that I’d do someday. I asked a girl out on a date. Unfortunately she was available to go out that afternoon for lunch. Now I’m thinking, should I ask her out again? Part of me wants to and part of me wants to move on. Plus, maybe she isn’t interested? Then, I should not pester her….? She’s a cute girl from Chile. Her name is Daniela. She lives a block away and sells weed. She got a lot of random tattoos, too. I met her when Gio and I went to film a T-Mobil promotional video in South Beach. Gio invited her to help out. She’s not a videographer or photographer but she was very helpful in the filming of the project, and I really got along well with her. And she’s pretty hot.

Military Reunion

I went to Southern California to attend the retirement ceremony of two ol’ military buddies: Steve-O Rodriguez and Diana Perez. I flew missions with them in the 729th airlift Squadron between the years of 1998 to 2003. Those were special years we traveled the world together in the C-141 cargo aircraft. While overseas we worked together and after work partied together and ate together. This was a unique relationship that many people never have. And it made us all very close. I hadn’t seen them nor anyone else in that squadron for 16 years. This reunion was a very big moment of my life. Not only was it fun it was like chicken soup for the soul.

Steve-O on Stage and Diana in our arms.

Loadmasters with class and wildness from the early 2000’s.

Why I left the Military

I miss them a lot but it was correct for me to leave the Air Force in the first place. I was in my late twenties and early thirties and I wanted to do so much more in my life, not just the military, no matter how much I enjoyed it. Since then I’ve traveled throughout Central and South America for 2 and a half years. Taught English in China. Went to film school, where I wrote, acted, directed, and edited short films and documentaries and got a Bachelor’s Degree, worked in the Miami Beach service industry, and taught High School English in Madagascar for 2 plus years. All that I couldn’t have done if I stayed in the Military for all this time.

My Present Employment

I’ve been working 4 to 5 days a week at the Sylvester Bar in Midtown. The first two days I, like a mad chemist, mix spirits, fruit, sugar, salt, nuts, milk, gram crackers and other ingredients in various ways to make concoctions that the bartenders will later mix with other things to make and sell drinks. It’s tough. The 3rd and 4th days I work as a barback. It’s a constantly moving job. Constantly lifting things up, moving stuff, and cleaning and whatever the job calls for. That’s what I like and prefer, but the pay isn’t great. I will continue because the cats I work with are awesome.

Post Peace Corps Reflection

Oh well. After 2+ years in Madagascar I’m back barbacking. Didn’t the 2 years in Madagascar change me? I wanted it to. I wanted to come back a different person. Someone better. But I’m the same. Or at least I feel the same and can’t dectect the differences.

Girlfriend Status

I still don’t have a girlfriend. I want one. But I’m really hesistant to approach or broach a conversation with a girl about romantic adventures. I keep telling myself that success is right around the corner but that never arrives. How long am I going to be this optimist and wrong and instead just go out and start a relationship for better or worst. Just do it and even it turns out bad, the results will be so adventuous and that’s living!

YouTube

Started a new Youtube channel. It’s all drone shots. I’m filming so much drone shots that I want to do something with them. Maybe other people or me in the future will have a need for them.

Grandma Passing Away

My Grandmother past away, the one who started it all. In Chicago, her descendants did her funeral with pomp and military glory. Then to a restaurant for the wake. Then I dragged them out into to a parking lot in the rain, troopers all of them, to allow me to film them with the drone. I programmed it to fly around in a circle maintaining the camera’s gaze on my huddled family. Blessed my Grandmother, Elizabeth Jane Labbe Bliss. She joined the navy during World War II. She was rather stoic, responsible, and had a glass of wine every night. She loved sports and was a big Cubs fan. When I was young boy she and my Aunt Lucille taught us kids card games and we gambled with real money. Maybe she let us win from time to time. She was 97.

Laboring Away

I’ve been working a lot. Lot’s of long hours during which I bust my ass non-stop. It’s labor times ten. But I enjoy it. Don’t know if I’ll be working here, The Sylvester, for a long time, but steady as she goes. I’m the best they have at my position and they like and value me. They hired a couple of other people but they won’t make the cut. Either they’re too lazy or they don’t have the math skills (executed quickly) to do the job appropriately. Or, and this is important, the don’t have the personality.

Hurricanes and Handgranades

Hurricane Dorian was on it’s way here but it never arrived. People got ready and were preparing for the worst. Boarding up windows and buying water and gas and making a scene. I’m a little disappointed. I heard it hit around the Carolinas. When I was in Madagascar a hurricane hit Miami. Not a direct hit but it did damage. People lost power and hung out with their neighbors. I still haven’t experienced a hurricane here, but years ago a hurricane passed near Miami and we took a raft to the beach. The lifeguards wouldn’t let us take it in. But we swam anyway. Man, I got hit so hard by waves that it may have reptured an eardrum. I was toast after that swim.

Cyclone Eva

Fortunately in Madagascar a Cyclone passed over a town I was in. First my friends and I were on an island off the east coast when we caught wind that a major storm was bearing down on us and we had to fee fantasy island. We got to a safe town and the eye passed right over us. I remember it clearly. I thought the storm was over but the 2nd round was just around the corner. And it was stronger.

New Job

I’ve been working at my new job, The Sylvester, but only 3 days a week, not enough. But I do like it, but it may not be enough money. I’m not happy, but I’m never happy, even if my job is kick ass. But I soldier forward striving for optimism.

Lifestyle Won’t Quit

Still nothing. Just nothing. No inspiration, no motivation. Except to work. The more I work the better. But. But let’s be honest, I do go out and have a good time from time to time. Truthfully, I’m still addicted to the shindig. One night, me, Gio, Stephanie from New York, and her sister went out to party in Brickell and Calle Ocho, where we entered “Ball And Chain.” They had a Salsa band and we danced Salsa like we were back in time and there was flare and style and chivalry. We were all so happy. One of my best nights.

Potencial Scam

I got a call from Apple Inc., according to the caller ID. They said my internet security had been compromised. At first I wondered if indeed it was Apple and I told them that. They said they were and began it guide me through steps to identify what the infiltration was. They said hackers from Mexico were hacking into my system. Eventually they said I needed to purchase something to beef up my security system and that I needed to buy it at Staples or Winn Dixie. Then I asked, “Can’t I buy it from the Apple store?” They said no, that Apple(them) didn’t sell it. Red Flag. I told that I’m not going to buy anything before going to the Apple Store. He fluffed for a bit in response to my small talk. Then we were cut off. Or better yet perhaps he hung up. I immediately called the number that he had called me on. The one that said “Apple. Inc.” I called the number back because I wanted to continue the process. I still wanted to go to the Apple Store before buying anything. So I call the number and an Apple employee picks up. A real employee. I can just tell. Like, she’s American. That’s another thing, the cat who was talking to me early had an accent. I didn’t identify from where, but it was certainly not American. I told her why I’m calling and she tells me it’s a scam, that Apple never calls anyone. They send emails first. Fuck! So I erased anything on my computer that had anything to do with them. Fucking dodged a bullet. This is the second scam I’ve survived in 2 months.

Optimism

My job has been going well. The Sylvester, a swanky cocktail bar in Mid-Town. I’ve learned so much and I’ve come to understand how the bar, as a business, functions. Each company has a culture. For example, learning about the hierarchy of leadership within the company. And my place in it. Like my last bar job, I believe I’ll move up in the ranks. Fuck, who knows, maybe I’ll leave after a month. But, as far as I know, nobody out-works me. So I’m safe and will get a raise.

Neal and the Scooter

Neal bought a car. Where is this guy getting his money from? He asked me to drive his scooter back from the dealership he bought his car from in Miami Gardens, a long way under the Miami Sun. I had the scooter for a few days and it was a life changer, but Richard, the actual owner, came and picked it up. Oh well.

Reunion

A military buddy just informed me of a little reunion of the 729th Airlift Squadron at March AFB in Southern California. I’m going, even if it means losing my job. It’s that important. I miss these people. This may be the last chance to see them. Our job was extremely unique and I can talk about this with anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision to walk away from it.

Conclusion

Sometimes you got to work. Bills gotta be paid. Then you discover a new reality.

Job Hunt

I’ve been looking for a job like hardcore. Been walking the streets under the blasting sun. I like the interviews. It gives me the chance to talk to strangers and talk about myself. But it can be difficult to walk into a place and ask them if they’re hiring.

Loans

I took out a loan of 2 thousand dollars because I’m running out of money. I must admit that I’m getting a little nervous that I won’t get a job.

Sports Addiction

Fuckin’ UFC has been taking so much of my time. There’s a match coming up with a boxer and a wrestler going at it. People are split on who’ll win. It’s a dream match of fighting styles and the personalities of the two are so different, too, which makes it even more captivating. They fight in two days and when all the fight build up ends I don’t know what I’ll do with my free time.

The fight was over in 5 seconds. Fuck that shit. I was robbed. I was robbed by the guy I was rooting for. Man, I’d still been satisfied if he lost, but at least make it interesting, but losing in 5 seconds is just wrong. His opponent, Jorge Masvidal, who is from Miami, making me his fan, won with conviction and flare, he deserves his due, but he’s still a prick, and will have to lose soon so I can like him again. He may be like Connor MecGregor II, lord help us.  Now Ben is in an interesting position. He can’t boost like before, which was his calling car. If he’s going to make a come back it’s gotta be John Wick like. Like, he’s gotta tear everyone up and come back to go for the belt. A rematch with Jorge, if Ben earns it, would be a dream-fever.

Got Job, Bitch

Got a new job. I’m working at a swanky bar that specializes in cocktails. It’s called The Sylvester. They got really good cocktails. And I can tell you from the inside that it’s true quality.  Today I mixed a batch of what we call “Avion Milk wash. We blend: graham crackers, milk, butter, salt, lime juice, and 5 bottles of Avion tequila. After we blended it we put it into a centrifuge to separate the heavy particles to leave just the flavored liquor. This took hours. And later this goes into someones drink. I never realized this. I now have more respect for these fufu drinks. I’m also happy to be working indoors in an air conditioned area. This I’ve come to appreciate in my middle years.

What’s Next?

I’m just been contemplating my next move, like where am I going to go after Miami. I want to go overseas obviously but I may not have the money and time is running out, so I may have to max out my credit cards and leave the U.S. and just say fuck all to the debts. I’m willing to do it. I’ve been living financial responsible all my life and look where that’s got me. I’m trying something new. Maybe to a heist for quick change. I detest working for my money. Well, not the idea of it but the action of it. Like, working that much for little cash(!), just ain’t worth it.

Conclusion

Nothing really matters, except your happiness.

Back to Acting

I don’t have a job again. I’m looking for temporary gigs to work. I stopped driving Lyft. So I have a lot of free time, which I’ve taken advantage of. Also, I agreed to star in a film produced by a good friend of mine, Stazio. He’s from the Canary Islands and we met at Miami Dade College Film school. His brother, Vito, attended at the same time. Years ago I was in one of Stazio’s films. It was called Closh and it’s a psychological thriller.

Then later I was in another one of his films and I took it seriously and gave it my all, he on the other hand just said, “Fuck it” and didn’t try to finish it appropriately and make a good film, in spite of having all the necessary ingredients for a fuckin’ classic. In class after he showed the film I exploding in anger and verbally assaulted him in front of everyone. I stormed out but another student coaxed me back into class. Interestingly, after about 5 minutes I calmed down and was normal again. I just needed to vent. Yet, I believe some of my classmates saw me as a weirdo from then on. I haven’t acted for him since.  Now I’m hesitant and nervous because when I go into a role, I’m all in. I’ll do anything for the Director so I want to know he’ll do me right. I’ll do sex scenes, I’ll cry on camera…real tears. I’ll get nude. I’ll snort coke off a public toilet seat. You name it.

Financials are getting low, but my credit is still alive. I’m willing to max out my credit card to get by and not have to work a job that I don’t want. I’ve been applying for positions overseas, but nothing is biting.

Just been taking it easy everyday and give less and less a fuck. To not take life seriously. Fuck, nothing matters. Just money. I need that to continue my lifestyle. Drinking, druggin’ looking for jobs. Living off of credit.  Fuck, don’t know. Don’t care. Thinking back in the Madagascar days.

We filmed a ‘Pub Crawl’. An event where people paid a fee and picked up trash in between bars while their bar tabs were paid for.  We took pictures, video, and drone shots. It was coordinated by The One Hotel. The drone shots were sick. There was a lot of good people picking up trash on the streets and beach and setting a good example. Video below.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bym7en1gY9t/

Neal is back. He’s an old friend who, after living in Miami Beach for a few years moved to Connecticut, got married, got divorced, then moved back to Miami. On Craigslist he found a boat for rent. A boat you can live in. It’s got all the amenities. Like bathroom, shower, kitchen and bed.  I helped him move in. It was fantastic. We were on the water. The sun was going down and we were jumping from the boat into the water and swimming around with beers in our hands. It was a different reality than existing on land.

I’m still job hunting. I’ve had a bunch of interviews but nothing is turning up. I could jump on a restaurant job fairly quickly but instead I’m holding out for something video or photography related. It’s been a few months with no steady job only various filming gigs therefore I’ve been using the hell out of my credit card and I’ll ask my bank for a loan very soon.

Conclusion

When life fucks you, go on a boat you’ll feel brand new.

Always Working

The Beat continues. I’ve been filming with roommate, Gio. Today we filmed a telephone launch. The company, Plus One, released their phone in a few cities throughout the world. We were tasked to film the release at the T-Mobile store on Lincoln Road in Miami Beach.  We took pictures, too. We would ask the costumers to pose for the pictures and do things like take selfies of themselves or do some type of mini-theater so our shots looked 100%. It was so fun. I was a little uncomfortabe approaching and asking things of strangers, but Gio took to it like a fish to water. I flew my drone in front of the store,too. Gio edited the footage and I edited the photos. We had a girl, Daniela, help us. She was great and enthusiastic. Video below:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxiUViRn62s/

And the client loved our work and gave us 5 Stars.

Avengers End Game

I saw a movie today with Gio in South Beach’s movie theater. “Avengers, End Game.” I don’t normally go to the theaters, but he invited me and I don’t turn down an invitation. It was a big production with all the roman candles. I found myself mesmerized with the film and the screen was so damn big and we were so close to the screen that I was looking left to right up or down to cover the frame, and it was a big frame. We had a few beers and were taking hits on a vaporizer. Also I found myself thinking about so many things in life. Theories and philosophy. I came to so many “genius” conclusions. I wanted to write them down right there. But I had no pen. Now I can’t remember them. Weed gives then takes away.

Work Ethic Litmus Test

It’s difficult to drive Lyft because you work when you want to. And when there’s something fun to do you can do that, instead. With no one telling you to work, you find out your true work ethic. I don’t excel in that area.

A Filming Gig

On Craigslist I found a 4 day gig working with a film crew from South Africa. I was their driver. The were filming a documentary about an MMA fighter who trains in Fort Lauderdale. The cameramen asked me if I could get some coke. I said yeah, for 200 bones. We had to discuss a few things. Like when did they want it? They said that night. But we still had two more days of work. So in a bar we discussed it and it ended up with me making them promise to not drag their asses the day after the night that they would do the coke. Funny, I barely met these guys and I’m basically their lackey, but at that moment I was acting like the boss.

The Dealer, Old Friend

So I bought the 8 Ball of Coke. It was from an old friend of mine. We waited tables together at Johnny Rockets on Ocean Drive back in 2008. It was great to see him. With his new job he bought a yacht. He posts his lifestyle on Instagram and he lives a luxurious life. Oh, and the film crew loved it. I dabbled a little but not much. It’s just not my thing.

Trash of Mistanked Identity

One day we were pulling into a Public’s parking lot. I entered an empty space and saw sitting on the ground off to the side, under where the driver side door would be, a paper cup and some trash. We parked and began walking towards the building and a guy walking by asked me about the trash. I gathered that he thought I left it there and he wanted me to “clean up my trash.”  I had no intention of arguing with this guy nor picking it up. Gio came over, surmised what was going on, and took it upon himself to pick it up. I was impressed. That’s how Gio is, though. He’s an exceptional human being. He gets it. He fair. And even goes out of his way to do the right thing.

Family Reunion

I went to Chicago to attend my Grandmother’s funeral. A lot of people attended, family members I hadn’t seen in a very long time, and may never be in the same place ever again. I did lot’s of drinkin’. I tried not to, but family members kept offering me drinks, like early in the day. Or when we went to the Cubs game…plenty of beers there. I couldn’t say no, I was on vacation.

Socia Media Addiction Abstention

I’ve been watching lots and lots of Youtube videos, commenting on them, and interacting with others through the comments section. Many of the videos have been about Islam and how it’s meshing with western cultures, and American politics. I’ve always considered myself an Independent. I’ve never declared myself for a political party, but truthfully I lean Republican. They make more sense. Democrats are like the Mom and Republicans are like Dad, a Dad with tough love and I grew up with tough love.

Currently I’m on a fast….not of food but of alcohol, weed, news, and Youtube videos. I had to make the break. All of that was consuming too much of my time. And physiologically the alcohol was causing bad symptoms with skin and eyes. It’s been 6 days since the break and I’m very proud of myself.

Anonomyously Accused

I was driving Lyft on a Friday afternoon and business was biting. Then I saw that I was taken offline, like not about to pickup people. I’m like what? I don’t remember doing that. Then a message appeared,”Check your e-mail.” The email said that recently a customer had reported that I was driving drunk or on drugs, which was false.

I wrote Lyft some elecuent e-mails pleading my case. Once I knew that there was nothing more I could do, I went home and went to a bar to see some friends and had a coke. At 8am that morning I took 3 passengers on a shared ride from South Beach to Downtown Miami. One of the 3 was in a hurry and we arrived to her destination later than she wanted. She left the car angry. I said, “Good luck getting there on time.” I said it sincerely but possibley that could have been taken for sarcasms and exacerbated the already heat air.

Yet, honestly I felt like a weight had been lifted off me, because I was thinking of quiting anyway. Driving/sitting so many hours so many days straight was wearing on me. I was feeling it, too. It started to be uncomfortable sitting in the driver’s seat. Something was wrong with the pelvic area. But now what? I gotta find a job and quick.

Conclusion

Sometimes the bad guys win.

Drone Crash

I just fixed my drone. It was a deep fix with many steps and many opportunities for failure. I can’t believe I fixed it. I was hesitate to declare victory and then I turned it back on and it read: failure. Failure on multiple functions of the drone. I was so crestfallen. And the whole next day I was in a funk because of this. And then out of the blue while working an event, I remembered that there was one wire connection that I didn’t reconnect. So I went back to the house and opened it up, and low and behold that connection was indeed not plugged in. Plugged it in and turned it on…..everything was A-OK!

Lyft

Driving Lyft has given me a flexible work schedule. I was able to work for a production company that was in town to film a Doctor’s Conference at a swanky hotel, The Loews, on South Beach. The work was laid back and we ate what the Doctor’s ate so you know the food was first class! Meat, pork, fish, all the veggies, desserts to die for—literally!

The boss said he may call me up in the future to work for him again.

Girlfriend

I don’t have a girlfriend but I’m looking. I realize that I’m going to have to force this forward…..that I must initiate the process. Which is totally not me. But I got to do it. Even if it scares me. If I don’t succeed at first, learn, and move on.

Mom

I’m going to visit my Mom in Tucson. Been working and saving for that trip. Richard, my old friend, who I was staying with when I arrived in Miami, went on a bender and checked into de-tox at the VA Hospital. I’ve known him since our days in the military. He doesn’t respond to alcohol like he used to. And now when he starts he doesn’t want to stop for like multiple days. If I do a bender one night the next morning I definetely don’t want to drink.

Dentist

Saw the dentist. Got a root canal. He gave me a good dose of anesthesia so it was cool. I listened to an audio book during the operation. A story by Oscar Wilde. “El Fantasma de Canterville” It’s in Spanish, which makes the mind work while the teeth are being drilled.

Conclusion

My life has totally changed. 180 degrees. Went from small rural mountain town Madagascar to the big tropical city that doesn’t cool down. My mind is going through a transformation that I can’t understand, that I can interpret. How could I? It’s my own mind. It’s like trying to look at yourself without a mirror.

Driving Lyft

Damn, so much has been going on that I’ve been too busy to write. I like driving for Lyft so far. It’s been about a month since I began driving. This is a new type of job. I’ve never been able to work when I want. That means that if something fun pops up like a party I can attend it no problem. And I’m still getting use to having a car. I’ve never owned a car while living Miami, nor have I owned a car in over 10 years. I can zip around town whenever I want and I’m discovering new places in the city that I never knew existed. Like a part of town that has lots of Dominicans. Or a traditional English-looking bar down a side street in Coral Gables, or an area next to the Miami river with docks that remind me of some docks from New York. “We split up on the docks that night both agreeing it was best.”

A Friend from Out of Town

A friend from out of town recently came to Miami. She’s a photographer and a model. Her pics on Instagram are artistic and beautiful. I followed her Gram while I was in Madagascar. So while she was here we hung out, went to the beach, and had some coffee. We were suppose to meet at the nude beach but before I arrived she called to say that don’t bother that she was gunna leave because there were too many perverts there. We had a good time. I gave her a ride to the airport, she was going back to New York City. On the ride she asked me if I would be willing to be a sperm donor, if she decided to go down that route. I said yes. I’m getting older and I really want to have kids and I’m starting to realize that it may not happen by traditional means. Years ago, a girl who looked like Penelope Cruz asked me the same thing but I said no, but life has changed.

Working as a Valet Attendant 

I’m also working a parking Valet job. I’m doing one or two days a week. I don’t need it, but it’s a great change-of-pace of my Lyft job. I like it, but the money isn’t great. I may not be working there long.

From the Beach to the Mainland

I moved from Miami Beach to Miami. To an area just north of downtown, near the Design District, which is quite chic. I love it here. Lots of space. And the neighborhood is safe and pleasant with friendly good-looking people around. There’s a pool and a gym and everyday I run around the the roads of the apartment complex which is formed in a circle.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu4qAV3HrRK/

Videography Gig

I had a passenger in my Lyft car who I took to South Beach. While in the car he mentioned that he was looking for a videographer and I gave him my information. We made one video together. Before we made it we needed a girl and his idea was to walk Lincoln Road(a pedestrian Mall in South Beach) offering 100 dollars to girls to do a commercial in which she would talk about a health food product, mix it, and drink it. We got a Swedish girl who was on vacation. He convinced her and we filmed it as quickly as possibly. I edited it and it turned out well.  He wanted to film more. He had grandiose plans. But then I told him that I was too busy to continue collaborating with him. He wanted to do a lot and it would have required lots of my time. And he was pushy. But I recognize that many successful people are pushy and I want to be successful. Also, I often thought, “Am I doing this because I’m afraid of responsibility, or failure, or success?”

Lyft

I’ve decided to rent through and drive for Lyft. I pick it up next week. This will be the first time I have a car in Miami. I lived here 8 years before joining the Peace Corps and I always used public transportation or bicycle. Without a car I’ve been like a bird with its wings clipped, for so long.

Enter Natasha 

No jobs on the home-front or da horizon. Yet, I got a hook up gig as a Production Assistant from an old friend, Natasha. We went to film school together at Miami Dade College. After school she moved to Los Angeles but is here to work on a commercial(Gatorade with Dwayne Wade) and a music video. I had the hots for her in school, but nothing ever came to fruition.

On Set

Production Assistant is like a jack-of-all-trades gopher on a film set. We do anything: odd jobs, run errands, fetch coffee, clean up, build something, take it down. I got paid 200 dollars a day. About 12 hours a day. I wish it was a permanant gig. The gig is a Commercial for Gatorade and stars Dwayne Wade and his wife Gabriela Union. I’m impressed how much money and attention to detail has been put into this 30 second commercial.

Deathguard Web Series

Natasha is there and everytime I talked to her I’m uncomfortable. I’m still attracted to her. We had classes together and we collaborated on a bunch of short films. She played a victim in my web-series “Deathguard” I played the killer and I choked her out. We did that on the beach during the rain. To get a shot from the water towards the beach without a boat I brought out a ten foot ladder. The cameraman, Giovanni, stood high on the submerged ladder. Natasha had to hold the ladder because the waves were so close to pushing it over. And it was raining. Those were the Film School Days.

First Day at Lyft 

Last night I drove Lyft for the first time. It was pretty relaxed, easy, and interesting. For example I drove a group of orthodox jews. I’ve been on this planet for many years and I’ve seen many orthodox jews especially here in Miami, but I don’t think I’ve ever interacted with them. And I’ve wanted to, but I’ve never been put in a position to do and nor have I approached them and struck up a conversation. But last night I finally did.

Lyft

I’ve decided to rent through and drive for Lyft. I pick it up next week. This will be the first time I have a car in Miami. I lived here 8 years before joining the Peace Corps and I always used public transportation or bicycle. Without a car I’ve been like a bird with its wings clipped, for so long.

Enter Natasha 

No jobs on the home-front or da horizon. Yet, I got a hook up gig as a Production Assistant from an old friend, Natasha. We went to film school together at Miami Dade College. After school she moved to Los Angeles but is here to work on a commercial(Gatorade with Dwayne Wade) and a music video. I had the hots for her in school, but nothing ever came to fruition.

On Set

Production Assistant is like a jack-of-all-trades gopher on a film set. We do anything: odd jobs, run errands, fetch coffee, clean up, build something, take it down. I got paid 200 dollars a day. About 12 hours a day. I wish it was a permanant gig. The gig is a Commercial for Gatorade and stars Dwayne Wade and his wife Gabriela Union. I’m impressed how much money and attention to detail has been put into this 30 second commercial.

Deathguard Web Series

Natasha is there and everytime I talked to her I’m uncomfortable. I’m still attracted to her. We had classes together and we collaborated on a bunch of short films. She played a victim in my web-series “Deathguard” I played the killer and I choked her out. We did that on the beach during the rain. To get a shot from the water towards the beach without a boat I brought out a ten foot ladder. The cameraman, Giovanni, stood high on the submerged ladder. Natasha had to hold the ladder because the waves were so close to pushing it over. And it was raining. Those were the Film School Days.

First Day at Lyft 

Last night I drove Lyft for the first time. It was pretty relaxed, easy, and interesting. For example I drove a group of orthodox jews. I’ve been on this planet for many years and I’ve seen many orthodox jews especially here in Miami, but I don’t think I’ve ever interacted with them. And I’ve wanted to, but I’ve never been put in a position to do and nor have I approached them and struck up a conversation. But last night I finally did.

Team Bonding Gig

I did a Team Bonding event in Fort Lauderdale at a hotel on the beach. It’s a gig that pays 125 dollars. Immediately after that I drove Lyft for a few hours. A fare took me north to Boca Raton, which is over an hour north from where I live. I’d never been up there so it was an opportunity to explore. I worked the Raton streets for a few hours. Money wasn’t anything to get hard over so I returned to MB. I felt like Robert De Niro.

Team Bonding Gig

I did a Team Bonding event in Fort Lauderdale at a hotel on the beach. It’s a gig that pays 125 dollars. Immediately after that I drove Lyft for a few hours. A fare took me north to Boca Raton, which is over an hour north from where I live. I’d never been up there so it was an opportunity to explore. I worked the Raton streets for a few hours. Money wasn’t anything to get hard over so I returned to MB. I felt like Robert De Niro.

Back in Miami

And this time it was for real. Money almost gone and I had to  get a job, but after Christmas and New Year’s eve. I stayed with Richard again and it was a relaxing stay. Every morning running and exercising in the park. Swim in the ocean. His apartment is only two blocks away from the beach.

Attack of the Drones 

To make my filmmaking even better I bought a drone. A Mavic Pro Drone by DJI. It’s totally awesome and I was in love with it. I flew it everyday after I had it. In the first few days I almost crashed it, almost stepped on it and a mischievous kid almost rode over it with his bicycle when we told him he couldn’t fly it. As a pilot I wasn’t cautious at all. I was flying brazen like Icarus.  And within the first week I crashed it into a building in the design district. I was taking risks that someone of my skill level shouldn’t have taken. I was sad that I crashed it so stupidly so soon after buying it, but deep down I knew there was no way in a million years I was going to fly cautiously until I crashed it. Another lesson learned.

Zen Moment

Do you ever think that if you were different person you could get to all your dreams, achieve all your desires?  Do you ever think if you could change personality you could get what you want? Or I mean, you could be happy independent of getting what you want? But I’m learning that one cannot. We can’t just be a different person. And some of us realize that we’re not playing with a full deck.

My Friend Giovanni

I started hanging out with a good buddy from film school again. His name is Giovanni, Gio for short. We’ve made many films together. In addition to his videography work he works as a bartender. And he’s a good bartender. And he’s sharp and charismatic. A combination we don’t see together often. Also, he’s from Queens, New York and his personality matches. He’ll talk like a dude from the street but behind that is an intellect like someone from an Ivy League school. We hang together and do our share of smoking and drinking. He likes to go out and it was always fun going out with him. And it looks like I’ll be moving in with him, which I’m happy about because we can now easily team up our film making skills to bring us success. One thing we teamed up for was filming a promo video for our friend Grant’s new shop, Nlite, that he opened in the popular Wynwood district.

Work At Airbnb?!

It was coming down to crunch time. Still no job and the bank account is running dry. I was getting nervous. I’ve been staying at Richard’s but after this long time, I’m thinking about paying rent. I tried to start advertising my photography services on Airbnb, but I was denied. And they didn’t tell me why. Damn, like what? How can I fix it if you don’t tell me why I was rejected?!

More Interviews: 

I’ve been to so many interviews. I was really enjoying them. And was rejected many times. Yet, I took it better than I ever have. And I was going into the interview a little more playful because I didn’t care as much. I didn’t seek their approval as much. Perhaps that hurt my chances.

Grandma

My grandmother was on her last few days it seemed. I talked to my Dad and my older brother Kelly about it. She was 96. We talked about a possible funeral in Chicago. My Dad mentioned that money from Grandma’s savings could help pay for my plane ticket to Chicago. He and my family know that I’m an often penniless rolling stone and have accepted this.