Back in California

I went back to my hometown for about 2 weeks staying at my Dad’s house where I grew up. It’s next to the American River and next to a park, so everyday I’d take the golden retriever, Bob, for a walk to the river. Also, I’d spend the days meditating, smoking, surfing the web, and writing e-mails.

 

I visited childhood friends. We drank at their homes or went out to bars and restaurants, even to a Kings’ game. But often I just wanted to get away and be alone but that was a pipe-dream.

 

NBA Game

I probably drank and smoked more than I should have. It started to take a toll on my body. One night I went to an NBA game with some old friends and as we walked to the arena a few blocks away Jake said, “Hey let’s go into that bar and have a drink.” I said, “I’m not drinking today.” They were surprised because I usually drink and these guys are my drinking buddies. It took 25 seconds to convince me.

My Dad

It was wonderful to be with my Dad. We got along better than normal. He never asked me what I was going to do for a job or what my plans were for the future. Hell, I was 45 and I think he came to accept me as I am. Also, we spend a lot of time together, visiting Grandma, and hitting some golf balls.

My Mom

Then I went to Tucson to visit my mother and my aunt Mimi. My Mom was living in a senior assisted-living center because her health had deteriorated tremendously. She couldn’t walk without assistance. She couldn’t even walk with a walker. I had to help her take each step. I took her out to a few places. To a restaurant, to Supercuts, to the movies. I’d take her in a wheelchair, help her into the passenger seat very slowly and then do the same in reverse when we got to her destination. I was spoon feeding my Momma in a sushi restaurant. This was all very strange and new. Also, she had difficulty speaking.

 

 

 

A Star Is Born

We went to see a movie “A Star is Born”. I showed her the trailer the night before and it seemed like she wanted to see it. The trailer was one of the best I’d seen, and I’ve made trailers. We entered the theater with a couple of cokes and buttered popcorn. The screen was gigantic and the sound system was like a slick sonic boom, but it may have been a little overwhelming for her. After about 20 minutes she wanted to leave, so we left. Out in the hallway she said that she wanted to go back in. I was pissed but didn’t show it. Perhaps she was just saying this because she felt bad that I was missing the show. But I could tell that she wasn’t comfortable being in there with all that loud noise and the big ass screen. I didn’t want her to bear that just to please me. Also, I knew that she would start fidgeting again once we were in there. So we drove around Tucson for awhile before heading back to her home.

Internet Binging

One form of re-entry culture shock. I’ve binged hard on the internet: Youtube, news, sports news, and Facebook. It was hard to get anything else done because I’ve been glued to the computer screen. More informatin, more stimuli…it never ends.

My one week in Tucson, Arizona has changed me more than perhaps my two years in Madagascar. I began to see things differently. I began to realize that I will someday be old like her. Life is more fragile than previous thought. Life is going to end. The place where she lives is a place where old people go to die.

Conclusion

My experience in Madagascar was like a 2 year mushroom trip,.